I have always, always loved the variety and strangeness of life on Earth. The weird ways organisms solve the problems they face fills me with unspeakable glee. So, you can imagine my delight when I discovered that there’s a bat with suction cup feet.
Yes, the Sucker-Footed Bat has literal suction cups on his thumbs and feet. So, rather than hanging upside down like most bats, these bats are able to stick cheesy-’60s-spy-film-style to the sides of smooth leaves.
Like everything in Madagascar, the Sucker-Footed Bat has to deal with deforestation. Recently, there have been some arguments about how endangered they might be. They’ve been recently moved on the IUCN Redlist from Vulnerable to Least Concern. More information is needed to figure out what’s really going on with them.
Sadly, something like that last sentence is going to show up a lot on this blog.
Was I supposed to be doing lists of my favourite Pokemon? Oh, right…
Anyhow, last time I listed my top five favourite Bug types. This time we’re doing something a little… You know what? I refuse to say say “cooler,” because puns are lame. Except I already said it, didn’t I? Dammit… Whatever, point is, we’re doing my top five favourite Ice types.
Which of these… Not warm critters is the least warm? Well…
Let’s see, do I want to work more on my short stories in real life, or play more Fallen London so I can write fake short stories in a game? Well, I suppose the better question would be “in which reality can I do paperwork for Hell and have a curmudgeonly pet bat?”
… Is it time for another Pokemon list? Eh, okay, fine.
Last time I listed my top five favourite Dragon type Pokemon. This time, we’re doing something with fewer scales and more chitin; my top five favourite Bug types.
In real life, arthropods comprise about 80% of the world’s animal species, but approximately 80% of Pokemon are comprised of foxes, dragons, and electric rodents . There are still a lot of neat Bugs to snuggle with, though. Which are the neatest? Well…
“I love monsters. I love horror. I really think it comes from the fact that maybe my mom was a witch. The first time I saw her turn my brother into a squirrel, I thought, “aw, that’s a fun magic trick.” When she boiled him, I knew right away there was something wrong. Of course it was a very tasty meal.”—
John Dilworth (creator of Courage: the Cowardly Dog) in a recent podcast
Oh yeah, he also said he was doing something new with Courage soon.
Yesterday’s post was all about the best Fairies. This time, we’ll be looking at my top five favourite Steel types.
But, before we get in the actual pocket monster biz, there is something I unfortunately neglected to mention last time, and that’s the source of all the slick gifs I’m using to augment my posts. They’re from here. Enjoy.
Oh, I know! How about something awesome; something that everyone whose inner child remains intact should know and love:
Yep, Pokemon. How about this; every day I’ll pick a Pokemon type and list off my top five favourite Pokemon in that type, and then, once I’ve run though all the types I’ll make another post listing my top fifteen favourite Pokemon of all time. There’s like, what, eighteen types? That’s nineteen days worth of blog posts! It’ll be great!
The rules will be fairly simple:
-Only primary type will be taken into account (the exception is the Flying type, where I’m also going to include all those Normal/Flying bird Pokemon in the running, because there are less than five Pokemon with Flying as their primary type).
-Only one entry from each evolutionary line is allowed to be listed, to preserve diversity. If I list a Pokemon that evolves, just assume that I like its evolutions too unless I state otherwise in my comments.
-My picks will only take aesthetics into account, not game mechanics. I don’t care how powerful these Pokemon are; only how cool, cute, amusing, or interesting they are to my eyes.
Got all that? Good! Without further ado, here’s my list of the top five best Fairy types!
Genre: Action/Horror/Sci-Fi/Third person shooter Developed by Visceral Studios ESRB: M For Playstation 3, Xbox 360, and PC
Since I dedicated my first essay for this blog to Dead Space, I figured I’d also dedicate my first review (First review written specifically for the blog, anyway) to Dead Space as well. In fact, because the Dead Space franchise now spans every medium from video games, film, comics, and even literature (Yes, there’s a tie-in novel now), I’m actually making it a point to get my hands on and review it all, even the Wii game, which is going to available for the PS3 when the sequel comes out.
So the basic plot is pretty standard horror/sci-fi fare; a repair team is sent to fix a deep space mining vessel called the USG Ishimura, with which they’ve recently lost contact, only to find that the ship is now overrun with those lovable undead mutant monstrosities known as necromorphs. With the repair mission naturally abandoned, the three surviving members of the repair team (Engineer and protagonist Isaac Clarke, computer specialist Kendra Daniels, and security sergeant Zach Hammond) must attempt to find a way off the ship. Or, rather, Isaac must find a way off the ship while the other two hide in their cubby holes telling Isaac what to do like he’s a fucking two-year-old who’s never seen a space ship before. It’s also heavily implied that the reason Isaac is even part of the repair team is because he volunteered so he could check on his girlfriend, Nicole, who he is apparently worried about. This is, as you may have figured if you read my Dead Space 2 essay, where I run into the most damning fault this game has to offer. While a story about some guy toughing it out against mutant zombies to find his girlfriend is in itself not a bad thing (In fact, it’s actually a really awesome idea, if a bit reminiscent of Silent Hill 2), the game seems to forget that Isaac is a silent protagonist with no real personality to call his own and, as such, it’s impossible to form the necessary emotional attachments to him that would make the whole “he’s looking for his girlfriend” plot actually work. After all, at what point does Half-Life try to make you feel sorry for Gordon Freeman? The answer is “never;” rather, Half-Life gives you a cast of interesting and sympathetic NPCs to feel sorry for instead, which is what Dead Space should have also copied from Half-Life besides just the gravity gun thing and the totally-not-made-for-combat badass powered armor suit. Either that, or made Isaac a speaking character…
One of my other major narrative-related annoyances was in the way other characters usually interact with Isaac, especially when they want him to do something for them, which I already not-so-subtly hinted at somewhere above. Every time the player has to do something new, the support characters will usually explain it to Isaac as if he’s retarded and doesn’t know what he’s doing, even though he’s supposed to be a particularly skilled engineer who’s been making a living working on ships like the Ishimura for a while now (He even gets this shit from his suit, which blurts out this little gem of advice at the very beginning; “Use run to move quickly”). Not only does it make no sense, but it’s also unnecessary, because even if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, there’s a perfectly good locator button (Which projects a line on the floor to tell you what direction to go), and if you absolutely must know what it is the support character meant by “start the engines,” you can just go to the objectives menu where Isaac himself will tell you what you need to do via text commentary (Which is usually nothing more complicated than “go near a panel and press a button” or “grab macguffin ‘A’ and bring it to place ‘B’”). Hell, if Isaac had been a speaking character, they could have done something like what Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath did and had a button that made him talk to himself about what he needs to do, which would make more sense than you’d think, given Isaac’s rather tenuous mental state even early on in the game (He’s hearing voices within the first thirty minutes; talking to himself isn’t that much of a stretch at that point).
But, other than those two little hiccups and one relatively minor, but still very noticeable, plot hole regarding the game’s big reveal at the end, I actually found Dead Space to be fairly interesting plot-wise. There’s potential for true narrative depth hidden behind antagonistic entities like the Church of Unitology (An unholy mash-up of Scientology and Christianity), the Concordance Extraction Company (The giant mining company that owns the Ishimura), Earth’s government, and the Markers (Big stone obelisks that also seem to be alive somehow, but are more importantly the root cause of the necromorph infections), and especially within the broken psyche of Isaac Clarke himself (Did I mention that he’s going to speak in Dead Space 2?).
So now that we have my feelings on the story squared away, let’s move on to gameplay, where my biggest complaint is with the mission structure. A level will usually have you hunting for some useless random object, like a door key, an electronics part, or whatever else the support characters have sent you off to find. Needless to say, it gets repetitive, and often times illogical. One level, for example, had you gathering up parts to build a thermite bomb to destroy a metal barricade, when at that point in the game, you are likely armed with at least one mining tool specifically designed for cutting rock and metal. Why couldn’t you just use that? Also, that’s the medical deck; why is there thermite just laying around? It’s all very idiotic and stinks quite a bit of being rushed (Assassin’s Creed had almost the same exact problem, actually). Level design also lacks variety, generally alternating between brown metal corridors, brown metal corridors covered in blood, and brown metal corridors covered in that nasty fleshy shit. Everything else is fine, though, especially the combat, which I found to be visceral and thoroughly enjoyable (On normal, anyway. Easy is a bit too easy, especially since you’ll usually be picking up more ammo and health packs than you know what to do with). The only combat related complaint I have is that the boss fights are way too easy. Granted, they’re usually really big, but they’re attacks are generally very easy to avoid and they display their weak points like they’ve got some sort of death wish. The only boss creature that actually gave me a challenge was a decidedly smaller one called the Hunter; basically one of the normal Slasher necromorphs, only it regenerates its limbs when you cut them off, which means normal weapons will only slow it down. You have to fight it twice during the game and both times the only way to truly stop it is by using the environment. In fact, the Hunter and any area where your ability to hear your enemy is impaired (Vacuums or areas with very loud background noise) were the only things in this game that honestly scared me, which brings us nicely into another of this game’s little issues; that it’s just not scary. Sure, it does a decent job of startling you, on the first playthrough at least, but it’s rarely ever scary in the pure, atmospheric sense. This is only a really minor complaint for me, though, because I don’t mind a game being just a competent sci-fi shooter with horror trappings. So, overall, I liked Dead Space. Not exactly Half-Life 2 or Call of Duty 4 level material, but still enjoyable enough that I play it often. I’d say it was worth the $30 I payed for it (And, yes, instead of star ratings, if I say a game is at all worth buying, I’ll be giving them a dollar worth rather than a star rating. That’s just the way I roll).
Mostly for fun, I made a crossword puzzle. It’s going to be in the last issue of my school newspaper, but I figured I’d post it here too. So print it, do it in Photoshop/MS Paint, use it to kill headcrabs with; whatever you want. If you actually finish it, though, be sure to tell me so I can give you an imaginary trophy, ‘cause there’s like thirty-eight different clues and a lot of them are pretty tricky.
So let’s get this shit rollin’ with an essay of sorts, aboooouuut… Now. Also, here there be spoilers, so proceed at your own risk.
So the first Dead Space was a decent game. Not great, but decent. It brought enough new ideas to the table to make it feel fresh, and besides the prevalence of dictatorial fetch quests, the gameplay ultimately worked. There was one thing in the narrative department that always bugged me, however. It was the fact that the protagonist, Isaac Clarke, never spoke. Not that that’s always a problem. In fact, I usually see the whole silent protagonist hook as a good thing when it’s handled right (See Half-Life for more details). But Dead Space missed the point about as thoroughly as is humanly possible, that point being that the player is the protagonist, not just controlling the protagonist’s actions. Dead Space makes its first mistake when it expects you to actually feel sorry for Isaac because he’s looking for his girlfriend or whatever. The way they should have done it if making us sympathize with Isaac was their main goal would have been to characterize Isaac in as endearing a light as possible, so as to make us care what happened to him and, subsequently, to the people he cared about (Assassin’s Creed II did this with Ezio). If having a silent protagonist was more their cup of tea, they should have characterized the girlfriend in such a way that the player would have an emotional attachment to her, and care about what happens to her (Alyx Vance from the Half-Life series comes to mind).
So, all that being said, here’s what I find so interesting about the upcoming sequel; Isaac is actually going to speak, and he’s just a bit mentally unstable. But I’m not talking just depressed, PTSD, shell-shocked vet kind of unstable; I’m talking scribbling crazy shit on the walls, attacking the orderlies, getting yelled at by his dead girlfriend, can’t be sure what’s real and what’s not, stone-cold fucking nuts. Apparently he’s actually going to be stuck in a mental institution at the beginning of the game.
There’s just something in the idea that, as a result of his horrific experiences on the Ishimura, his mind has simply snapped, that speaks to me in a way that’s hard to explain (It’s probably related to my love of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac in some way). There’s also the fact that, despite his motivation from the first game (His girlfriend) being gone, he can still find the drive to set aside his fears and face the necromorph horde for a second time. I just see a lot of potential for in-depth storytelling and characterization in that, you know? Gameplay iterations, like being able to maneuver in in zero-G, new weapons, new environments, and new enemies only help to heighten my excitement.
But I’ve seen potential like this squandered before, and there’s still plenty of time for Visceral to majorly fuck something up, so here’s me with my fingers crossed until early 2011, when this thing comes out.
When I first made this Tumblr account, I had no real plans for it, and no real idea of how I’d use it or what kind of stuff I’d be posting on it. But after about three minutes of thought about ten minutes ago, I’ve decided to turn it into a sort of personal media blog, for reviews and essays and whatnot. Sort of like a marriage of Electric Death Trip Media and Fully Ramblomatic, only with better grammar than the former and written by a slightly less awesome(ly British) person than the latter.
The first thing I’ll do is probably to tweak a few of the game reviews I did for my school newspaper and post those, then, as my summer gets rolling, I’ll post more stuff, and not just for video games (That’s why it’s a media blog and not just a video game blog). Whether I get any notoriety for this or not, well… We’ll see.